In the heat of the moment we either melt or we are refined. I recall my negligence to acknowledge myself as a culprit to the crime of abortion. The first time I took a woman to an abortion clinic the worries on my mind were about who I wanted to be, without kids and without marriage. Being young and having so much life ahead of me, I felt like I would miss out on fulfilling life experiences if I had a child. My desires for pleasure mattered more than what God had in store for me. I now believe that abortion is murder, suppression of truth and a battle that I backed down from.

Scars from the first abortion didn’t set in until I found myself back in the same situation, funding another abortion. She was pregnant and I was only interested in being friends. Both abortions were the result of my lack of proper perspective and denial of the gentle grace of God. This mindset led me to objectify these women and perceive them as another stumbling block to my “success.”

These two occurrences were the reality of the melted, James Marshall. Melting under pressure and melting under obligation. I thought I was no longer usable by God, but I have found that God refines, for value to be confirmed (1 Cor 3:13).

The next opportunity for me to make the decision to “not back down” was presented with my wife. I’m now married and have been married for close to 8 years – we have two children. I have two boys that I am shepherding and teaching to have the correct perspective of relationships. The best love I can display to my sons is the love I show their mother, my wife.

God’s grace abounds in our home. I look for the next opportunity to motivate young men to view women as sisters rather than objects or opportunities. Men should be refined, love their brothers, and encourage them to prepare themselves to love correctly and not conveniently. (1 Thessalonians 5:14).